The revised thesis makes a extra specific assertion about success and what it means to work exhausting. The original includes too broad a spread of people and doesn’t outline exactly what success entails. By replacing these common words like people and work hard, the writer can better focus his or her analysis and acquire extra path in his or her writing.
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It may be helpful to learn every sentence out loud to yourself. Once you’ve read over your essay, undergo and edit it. When you’re carried out, go back over the essay once more to verify it flows nicely and that there aren’t any issues you missed. For instance, if you say, “A zebra is a kind of mammal,” you most likely won’t need to cite a supply.
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